maanantai 14. elokuuta 2017

Välil vaikee uskoo ihmeisii, nää kysymykset kieltämättä kiperii, joutuu kiipeliin punnitessaan omii arvoi ei ihme et tulee ikävä päiväkotii ja tarhoi

Istun tällä hetkellä tässä, junassa menossa pohjoseen. Mulla on maailman isoin kahvi, Ibe&kube korvissa, karkkipussi ja mielenrauha 5/5. Täällä on jotain tursitei jotka laulaa TÄYSII random japani lauluja ja mä oon vaat et help. Flöyssä sattu ja tapahtu ja nyt ajattelin jakaa viimeisen neljän päivän kohokohdat teidän kanssa. Ootteko valmiita, koska mä en todellakaan oo :-D
I am currently sitting at the train, on my way to the North. I have with me biggest coffee on earth, ibe&kube on my ears, candy and mindfulness. The train has some random tourists who sing Japanese songs which I don't know and all I can think about is how chill is this or what. Flow was fullfilled with so funny story tines and I thought I will share some random facts with you. Are you ready, because I am not.

*Torstaina mun piti olla bored af yksin stadis 8h koska kaikki oli jossain. Totuus oli se että pihliksen oma ketterä (tunnetaan myös mun rodos kämppiksenä ja heinekeinenä) veti karatekid moovit sen pyörän kanssa niin, että lääkäri, shokki ja kolmen päivän sairaslomahan se sieltä pamahti joten 5/5. Heinekeinen nimi muuttui samalla lip-filler heiniksi (koska turvotus oli eu naturel asfaltista, en tajuu miten joku voi ottaa niin tasasesti edes turpaan asvaltilta et turvotus tulee suoraan keskelle huulia et tuli ilmaset ankkahuulet) ja niin flöy viikonloppu voi alkaa. Kipulääkkeillä tai ilman.
On Thursday my plan was to be bored AF because all of my friends where somewhere. But as life in general, it never goes as planned so before I knew one of my homies, also know as Heinekeine, my ultimate roommate from Rodos came to the cafeteria shook AF because he just made some badass karatekid moves with her bike so, that he had to go to doctors and switched her working hours sickleave and she got free lip injections from the asphalt. I switched her old Heinekeine name to lip-filler-heini. And so did our flow weekend start. With pain killers or not.

*Torstai ilta jatko sanattomalla sielunhoidolla a.k.a kuuntelemalla post malonee, ja muuta räppiä sekä nauramalla partoihimme.
On Thursday we gave soul healing to each other without words. I.E we listened some posty, other rap and we laughed more than we could say words.

*Perjantaina flow eka päivä ja ilma ihan sika komee. niin oli muuten siideriki
On Friday. the first day of flow. The weather was absolutely gorgeous and so was the cider

*Perjantain otettiin paljon kuvia ja heini vaihtui yläfemmojen saattelemana nahikseen
On Friday we took so many pictures and with high fives I switched beaches from lipfiller-heini to nahka-albert

*Deezydavid & Cledos hiton jees töölön ketterän keikalla. Ja Sonny tottakai.
I can not believe Fedja & Tuisku (ofc Sonny) took Deezydavid and Cledos with them to the gig. I was a m a z e d.

*Kerkesin myös roustaan jotain kauppisvalmistuneita (sori siitä jos löysit mun blogin.... :-D) Mä en tiedä mitä antipatioita multa tuli, mut salee naama jotenki näytti tutulta tai jotain, et sydämestä se roustaus tuli, mut ihan jees jäbä sä oikeesti olit
*On friday I also rosted way too bad people who had graduated from with Finnish Business Degrees. I am so fucking sorry, but it was kinda fun as well SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :D
like literally, if you came back to my blog it was nothing personal man, I don't know where the all roasts came from you were cool kids :D

*Perjantaina oli myös muuten gasellit ja hiton jees
On Friday was also Gasellit and so freaking cool gig

*Perjantaina myös otin true_fan_gurl kuvan Tuiskun kanssa 

*Suurin kiitos nahkikselle muuten siitä, että tulit MUKISEMATTA mun kans kattoon töölön ketterää ja kubee (eturiviin tottakai) vaikka et osaa yhtään biisiä, et digaa siit musas yhtään. sulla ei oo hajuukaan kuka on ibe ja sun korvat vuoti kirjaimellisesti verta koska kaijutimet oli liian kovalla sulla. TIIÄTTEKÖ LET ME INTRODUCE THE MVP, NAHKA-ALBERT.
ei hele muikkeli, kiitos!!!!!
Do you guys know how to tell who is the MVP? Like really? I will freaking tell you how to tell. it is the woman who ultimately does not know any of the bands, nor listened rap music and still comes with you to every single gig, eventho she has so sensitive ears she is actually bleeding from ears, and still she comes to the FIRST line to all the freaking gigs with u :D

*Join myös elämäni kalleimman kahvin sekä redbullin
*Also during weekend I drank most expensive drinks ever wtf even

*Lana ei mun mielestä ollu niin hyvä kun ois oinu olla
Lana del rey was not as good as I expected

*Lauantaina tottakai töölön ketterä ja muut oheistuotteet jotka oli _hiton_ jees

*Lauantaina tais olla vahingossa mun ja nahkiksen pää päivä kun vedettiin jonossa ginit puoliksi
On Saturday me and nahkis go slightly drunk by an accident with gin

*Vältettiin hullu beach-myrsky, mutta koska tykätään elää reunalla lähdettiin hakemaan kartsaa kesken myrskyn. Niin perus meidän logiikka. tilanne meni suurin piirtein näin:
suvi: oho äsken tuli myrsky varoitus ja kaikkia kehoitettiin siirtymään sisälle turvaan
tara: jaaa--aaaa
suvi: ...
tara: salee ei ainakaa nyt voi takas alueelle mennä
suvi: jåå-å tuli äsken toi tieto et ne ei ota nyt sisää, pitää vissii korjaa telttaa.
tara: jååååååå tekis kyl mieli kartsaa
suvi: niin tekis
tara: lähetäänkö hakee
suvi: jåå, mennääks heti 
tara: joo vois
eli 3 minuuttia ja oltii hakee kartsaa : DDDDDDDDDDD

*Lauantaina oli myös DTM ja beyonce 7/11 jatkot

*Lauantai-Sunnuntai välisen yö nukuin etutöölössä jonkun Nooran sängyssä, et terkkuja Nooralle ja kiitos sänky lainasta, ja sori :DDD

*Oli myös Ruudolf, Karrikoira, Reino Nordin, Alma, the xx etc.

*Sunnuntai aamuna noin kello 9.00 oltiin nahkiksen kanssa hakee kahvia keskustan mäkkäristä ja kahden tunnin unien jälkeen istuttiin dösässä menossa pihlikseen. Ilman lisä-unia käytiin suihkun kautta ja tein mun oman historiallisen ennätyksen ja juotiin nahkiksen kanssa siideriä puokkiin kello 10.30. Nahka-alberthan on vanha kunnon loikkari nainen, meitsi viel opettelee tähän (mun mielestä tänä viikonloppuna tein hyvät suoritukset kuitenki)

*Sunnuntaina oli lumoava vesta ja huippu kube ja IBE!

* Sunnuntaina oli myös sika hyvää pinaatti, feta, parsakaali pizzaa

*Nukuin tämän viikonlopun aikana todella hyvät yö unet todella random paikoissa, mutta olo levänny ku koalalla konsanaan

Tiiättekö mä en tiiä paljoo mut sen mä tiiän, et hitto flow kyl pelasti mut. Mä olin ihan sika takakiree ennen tätä viikonloppuu ja nyt tuntuu et ei maailmassa oo huolta tai häivää. 
On vaan hiton hyvää musaa ja chilli meno. 
I do not know much, but one thing I know. And it is that I was so freaking tight when I came to Helsinki. I was like a ball filled with stress. Flow saved me. Now I do not feel stress.
I just feel so freaking laid back. 

lauantai 12. elokuuta 2017

Kaataisitko mulle lisää kuplivaa, mun kyyneleet on pelkkää hiiltä purppuraa, purppuraa


Viimiset kaksi päivää on olleet silkkaa räppiä, träppiä ja naurua. Tää on mun ensimmäinen flow, ja pakko kyllä myöntää, että on kohdellut hyvin. Oispa flow joka päivä vuodessa. 

torstai 3. elokuuta 2017

life is like a soccer because my mom signed me up for it and expects me to try my best even though I hate fucking soccer

m o i c c u !
I read a meme which said that "life is like a  soccer because my mom signed me up for it and expects me to try my best even though I hate fucking soccer." aaaaaand I think it is pretty funny & ironic, it is also sometimes way too accurate. 

Lately, I have been contemplated a lot what is right and what is wrong. Like nothing too specific, just life in general. I feel like couple of months ago I was so certain about some things in life. You know, like really in an easy way; you obey the law, you are in the good path. You do the things that you don't admit are expectations toward you and deep down that is not where your heart belongs, but you do them because they are right. You are suppose to work 9 to 5 (or wine on Fridays) and on weekends you should get slightly drunk and avoid doing embarrasing things, and if you do feel bad on Sunday morning (especially about the thoughts you had the previous night).
I am not sure if that is how life works. 
I am not sure if that is something I signed up for. Maybe neither my mom did.

And when I talked about this to person close to me, he said; look around you everyone is miserable.
I am sorry to say, but I don't see it.
I am sorry to say, but I don't think day after day you should only live ocd life with tragedy consuming your days by laying on the couch thinking about catastrophy theories.
Let me explain why. 

Past six months I have let people to see my heart and let people that I WOULD NEVER IMAGINE HANGING WITH half a year ago. They have taught me a lot about life, and showed me unconsciously how they live their life. And I have to admit they have had a positive impact on me as well. I have also done loads of things I could never imagine doing before. Not big projects or anything or not even going out of my comfort zone, just experiencing different aspects of life, ofcourse without dropping myself and the things that are important for me down.


I think the most important thing that I truly realised was that sometimes you just need to be honest to the feelings, ideas and concepts that are dear to your heart. As soon as you stop bullshitting yourself (and others) and you say the expectations boybye, you let things, people and opportunities to your life that belong there.


I have never believed anything spiritual-energy-bullshit. But well, I guess it is mandatory for me to say that there is shit going down behind the curtains which I often have no idea of. 
Saying good bye to those BOUNDARIES and EXPECTATIONS that I have been trapped into and totally created BY MYSELF sets my soul free. I am pretty sure this is what freeing your soul means, because it is something I have never ever felt before. Sometimes it feels genuine smile on my cheeks, or laughter on a sunny day. Other days it feels like pain on the left side of my chest and rain drops on my cheek. 
It has made me stop using make up (mostly). 
It has made me stop speaking/ writing in Finnish because fuck that. It has made me stop wearing bras (sometimes tho). It has made me to drop down punch lines to my DM's like "let me educate ya boi" and it has made me do silly jokes in inappropriate places because they just feel right.


 It has made me to say "Excuse me, but fuck you, I won't apologize that I feel bad today and I am sorry I need to take care of the next hour for me to be alive" it took me 24 years to admit the first time, that today I am not alright and I am not sure if I ever will be. 
And I need to admit, those days I need someone to get me back to my foot and kickass the world again.
Like we all do, right?
Am I right, or am I right. 

But the thing is, ofcourse I will be.
The light in the end of the tunnel has not been cut down. Eventhough sometimes it can be hard to see, feel or hear. 
The thing is, the repair men are already fixing it, and they will do it so that it will be even clearer, brighter and shinier for you to find it again. In that way you can find your home easier and faster.
And that is what repair men do -they repair things, them to be better, stronger and brighter. 


But oh, when it feels to be lost, it feels like being completely alone in the middle of the ocean, sobbing by yourself, inside a fog that you can not even explain. in a small boat trying to find home and not even knowing where the home is.

But today is not to day to be out in the sea.

Today is the day to giggle myself to the world.

The thing is.
How fucking corny it sounds. This fucking day will never come back. And it does not mean that I need to go immediately to out and experience all the things. It mean that I NEED TO DO THE THINGS that make me happy now.
If I am not doing them now how can I be sure it will make me happy in a long-term? There is NOWAY for me to knowing that. I am not fucking psychic (lowkey I am but still :D:D:)
stabbing yourself everyday won't make you happy, so find your happy place, find the things that keeps you warm inside and HOLD ON THEM.


I don't have an idea what in world is right thing do for you. But what I do know is that for me following my INTUITION, GUT FEELING and mostly my HEART is the place where I can find my inner peace.

PeacE OUT :-D

ps. plz don't ask me if I have becane crazy. you know the answer.
ofc I am I have been crazy ass beach always you just haven't seen it lolololololol